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I wish I had a penny for every time I heard the words “what if he feels intimidated or I hurt his feelings when I bring home this sex toy?” This topic comes up all the time at our home sex toy parties.

However, most men these days seem to embrace toys and really SAVVY men know that they only make their job easier. Integrating a silent vibrator into your sex life can make MOM EXTRA HAPPY… and we all know the old adage about when MOM isn’t happy. As I love to say, really smart men know that sex toys do all the heavy lifting for them. And, speaking from personal experience, nothing can replace a live, breathing, warm, good-smelling partner.

But, even in 2009, I still have one or two women, per game, who ask me that question. In some cases, I think it’s more about the woman being afraid to communicate with her lover who is ready to enhance her fun in the bedroom. And sadly, in some cases, it’s true that your male partner really doesn’t like the idea of ​​a toy. (Men are mostly worried about being replaced or that the toy is bigger than them.)

It turns out that some ignorant men see a vibrator or dildo as a replacement. But, as my title says, TOYS ARE JUST AN SNACK. They are only designed to warm us up, and as we all know, women generally need more warm-up time than men. Our partner is our entrance! Rarely will an appetizer really satisfy us. Sometimes an appetite is enough, but usually the appetizer just builds anticipation for the main course. (Anticipation…ahhhh…we all love anticipation, right?)

So, back to my point for the guys. If your girl takes 20 minutes, why not add something like SLENDER SENSATIONS or SILVER BULLET to your foreplay repertoire? Use the gentle vibration on your nipples, on your neck and back, move it slowly on your lower tummy, or try using a little more pressure on your pelvic bone. Do not dive directly. Take the toy and tease her a bit with it to warm her up. If you take the time to help increase blood flow to her pelvic region, what you will find is a woman who is VERY receptive and will have an orgasm more easily.

Make sure she is warm and lubricated before allowing her to touch your clitoris. If she isn’t lubricating on her own, don’t take it as a personal affront to her abilities. Sometimes it’s hormonal and sometimes it’s just how wired we are. Crazy things like too much Starbucks, allergy medications, and lack of sleep make it difficult for us to lubricate ourselves and reach orgasm. I recommend using Eros Silicone Lubricant. It’s super feminine and tasteless, odorless, and condom-free.

Men really should HUG toys. If you’re having trouble getting your partner to orgasm orally, incorporate a soft, quiet toy like the FINGER FUN into your oral sex. Using it in conjunction with your tongue and fingers can give you that little extra vibration you need to have an oral orgasm. Just think how much less work your tongue has to do. This toy is soft, waterproof and silent. It’s small enough not to get in the way and subtle enough not to be TOO loud for her.

When I do the Mixed Pleasure Parties, I love coaching the men to make sure they take care of their female partner first. Give him an orgasm before you have penetration. If you want to see your wife or girlfriend’s LUSTY VIXEN hang out for a while, give her an orgasm, then have sex, then give her another orgasm afterward. You may see a side of your partner that you have never seen before. Women can be hungrier and more aggressive after their first orgasm and will be begging you to have sex after that!

I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. If you have questions about which sex toy is right for you and your partner, call me at 408-826-9087. I am an expert in sex toys and sex and would love to help you find the right toy for your situation. No obligation to buy anything. You can even buy it from my competition. I’d love to help you find the right toy to ELEVATE your sex life.