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This writing may offend some people, but sometimes the truth must necessarily be painful to bring about change. You have been warned.

We have all seen it. A bold and confident black woman who looks great from a distance and knows what she wants out of life. Flawless makeup, expensive Brazilian wavy hair, beautifully manicured hands and feet, designer clothes, and a powerful ambition. However, fast forward her to bedtime and let’s see what happens. She puts on her headscarf, removes her makeup… and what is usually left is a woman with no eyebrows, uneven skin tone (with acne scars), who looks nothing like the black goddess who we mentioned above. In fact, the truth is often a terrifying sight, even for the owner of the face, let alone a Black woman’s partner, husband, or lover! It’s almost as if a large number of black women care more about the illusion of looking flawless than taking the necessary steps to have a beauty regimen that will make them look and be flawless today. Weaves, oversized false eyelashes, heavy makeup, and foundation have become more of a mascara for black women who want to exude a beauty image, rather than accentuate or enhance established beauty.

In the current paradigm of black women’s beauty, there seems to be no focus on the power of natural beauty or the femininity of black women, as an archetype of women’s beauty.

Sadly, the lack of respect that many black women have for men in general is reflected in the fact that they don’t take care of themselves once their makeup is off. Relationships are built within the confines of a home, and having a nice attitude and looking nice without makeup is of the utmost importance. What women in general and black women in particular forget is that men are highly visual creatures. They need visual stimulation and security. Just because you look fantastic, when you’re in makeup, it’s the morning after that that counts. It is similar when the nightclub lights come on and there is a collective gasp of horror from the men, who have discovered that the woman they have been dancing with, in the dark, looks like Satan on a bad day, in the dark. light.

And so it is, with a relationship. If you, as a black woman, look “great” when you go out, and your face is covered in foundation, but at home, without makeup, your skin is blemished, patchy, blemish-ridden and acne-prone… isn’t it? To miss? , that a man will leave you, after a while, based on the fact that men are visually driven. Easy.

For your own respect and to give yourself an edge, to maintain a relationship…you have to invest in your skin, with a black focused skincare regimen. You have to invest in getting your skin to look flawless. The time for focusing on honey blonde weaves, cheap acrylic nails, and too much foundation or powder is over. It’s finished. Finish. Done.

White and Asian women invest in taking care of their skin, and black women should do the same. There’s a reason they do it.

There has to be a new paradigm for black women, including the use of scrubs, face masks, deep moisturizers, acne treatments, complexion creams, blemish treatments that will cleanse your skin and make it look flawless. Black women have beautiful skin, almost angelic if they take care of it, but many have no interest in really taking care of it. Black women have enviable deep, rich skin, and they have a responsibility to care for it. Black women need to invest in their skin to ensure they look flawless at all times, and more importantly, where it matters most in a relationship: at home. Men need to see beautiful women. Men have an innate need to adore feminine beauty, and black women have a responsibility to make sure they look beautiful, to keep him interested, focused, and faithful. Why would a man look anywhere else, when his wife, partner and lover is flawless, even without makeup?

Investing in your skin will help you keep your man, because he will see pure beauty in its natural state, instead of being horrified. Every time you remove your makeup, leaving him wondering how he will get out of the relationship or look for another woman, as long as he tolerates you. Respect yourself, invest in your skin and you will see how your love life improves in all facets.