Communication Skills: 10 Ways To Improve Communication In Your Relationship
Communication is one of the main building blocks of a relationship, be it verbal or non-verbal communication. Do you remember a time when things were difficult in your relationship? I bet your communication with your partner was also severely affected, if not totally blocked. This article will only give you 10 tips on how to improve your communication. Give them a try, even before the going gets tough!
Tip #1: Make time to talk
One of the first recommendations I give to couples who have come to couples therapy is to establish specific moments each day to talk to each other. Make time for each partner to share what is important and what is on their mind.
Tip #2: Listen carefully and focus on what your partner is saying
When it’s time to talk about your partner, it’s your job to simply listen. Refrain from rehearsing what you are going to say as soon as it is your moment. Your partner will feel that you are not fully present. Listen as you would like to be heard.
Tip #3: Listening is not offering solutions
Finding solutions is more of a male tendency, however women are good at it as well, as a means to figure it out and get it over with. Wait for your partner to ask, ‘So what do you think?’ or ‘What do you think I should do now?’
Tip #4: Call your partner during the day to have a chat
It seems like such a small thing but it is so effective and important: letting your partner know what is happening to you. A simple five-minute phone call conveys more than the effort it requires.
Tip #5: Write each other notes, SMS or emails if no other communication channels are available
Even if you don’t have time to make a phone call, you can always write a very short message like: ‘I’m thinking of you’ or ‘Good luck with today’s meeting’. Again, just like with the phone call, it’s more than just the message you write.
Tip #6: Refrain from taking calls when talking to your partner
Once you’ve made time, put your mobile phone on silent and keep other interruptions to a minimum. It’s about you and your partner, not anyone else. Make it a priority, like a business meeting.
Tip #7: Look into each other’s eyes
The eyes are the windows to the soul, so if you really want to share with each other soul to soul, use the hotspot to do so. Intimacy is also accessed by looking into each other’s eyes, and that is partly what this communication is about: connecting with each other on an intimate level.
Tip #8: Don’t assume, ask questions
Once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’ll fall into the trap of assuming what’s left unsaid. Ask questions instead. You may have heard what the word ‘assume’ means. It just takes the first three letters and says ‘that’s what you do with ‘u’ and ‘me’.
Tip #9: Be clear, honest and open
If you want to improve your relationship, improve your ability to be clear, honest, and open. Answer your partner’s questions without getting defensive.
Tip #10: Show Gratitude and Appreciation
Express gratitude for the time spent: “I really appreciate you taking the time to listen today” or “Thank you for sharing this with me” are easy ways to acknowledge each other – that’s what communication is all about, in the end.