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Michael Jackson’s uniqueness left many people looking at his memorial with ambivalence. Is it okay to worry about him? Should his alleged actions (remember, you were never convicted of being a pedophile) overshadow your amazing talent and accomplishments? Dare I say that I liked it? His fans will say yes, and his critics will say no. But most people are just not sure how to feel.

Certainly his talent is undeniable. We spent our entire childhood dancing and singing Michael Jackson songs. Its appeal spanned generations. We get up from our chairs and dance. It was a “thriller” for us for years. Since we adore him, clearly he did not adore himself. He constantly ripped his face off, repeatedly underwent surgeries to recreate another self; changing the color of his skin, staying terribly thin as if he hoped not to be seen and disappear. Until he achieved his goal. And now it has disappeared.

It’s easy to criticize a 50-year-old man whose most fervent desire was to be Peter Pan, not to grow up and live his life in Neverland. And it’s easy to believe that anyone who spends millions to create a playground could be using it to entice young people to satisfy devious desires. Perhaps his money allowed him to be more brash than a pedophile would be. But with all the possibilities one thing is clear. Michael Jackson was severely retarded and emotionally a very young child. Although the calendar said he was 50 years old, his extremely limited childhood experiences left a void in him that he could never fill.

Try as he might, he couldn’t help having any of the normal and expected childhood life experiences that children need to mature and function successfully in the society in which they live. If someone put you in a closet for a month, you’d be a month older when you came out. But would you be smarter? Or have matured at all. All of that would have been completely stifled. If I took you out of the closet and taught you to read, that would be all you would know. You may be smarter, but not more mature yet. Maturity comes from having constant and varied life experiences.

Children who have been very ill, children who use drugs, those who have suffered abuse and neglect, and any other situation that has taken them out of the mainstream of what is considered a “normal” childhood may experience delayed maturation. . Many people have this to one degree or another. Today, protected children have the opportunity to socialize and be children. People know how important this is. Michael’s delay in maturing was extreme. And although his lithe body amazed us, he was paralyzed by his inability to function as a normal adult in the world in which he lived.

Seeing it this way can help ease the ambivalence in the way people grieve it. This male child was a giant in his field and changed the world of music and entertainment forever. It is a tragedy that he could not occupy his own shoes.