On resistance and cats: how much do you resist change?
I had to take my geriatric cat to the vet. He doesn’t like it there and he surprised me by being unusually docile when the attendant weighed him and took his temperature. He remained reasonably affable during the long wait for the vet. However, when he entered the room, everything changed.
The 15-year-old cat, which has lost all but one of its teeth and around a third of its body weight, escaped the attendant’s clutches and made it to the door. There, he fought off all attempts to catch him and place him back on the exam table. He hoisted Hey, he spat. he crushed. he howled. They could hear it down the street! He took two strong people, one with elbow-length protective gloves and the other with a large towel, to catch this sick old man and put him on the table. The assistant had to use her entire body to immobilize him long enough for the vet to draw blood.
Then it took four minutes for the two of them to get him into his carrier so I could take him home. No one was going to tell him what to do!
So what does this have to do with personal change in humans? She was speaking with a fellow trainer in one of a series of conversations about people who are resistant to moving on. While we were talking about clients and resistors, the image of that cat, curled up in a corner, ready to kill anyone who tried to move it, came to mind. I thought about the customers who were fighting kicking and screaming and what it took to get a little moving.
How fiercely we can fight to maintain the status quo. Even when resistance becomes useless and the effort is exhausting, we continue to fight against change. And how exhausting for anyone trying to help!
The next time a wonderful opportunity presents itself, try an anger management technique. Stop and breathe. Before you start spitting, hissing, and jumping at the opportunity, stop and wait for your heart and head to sync up. Communicate, even tentatively. Explore a bit. You still have time to fall back or regroup or do whatever you need to, but keep in mind that sometimes it’s better to fight your way out of your corner than to fight to stay in place.