Seven steps to keep your sanity during a divorce
Going through a divorce can be overwhelming in more ways than one: Your emotions will go up and down like a roller coaster for several months, and you’ll feel pulled in many directions at once. You may also have to sell your home and other property, find a new place to live, and adjust to being a single parent. Divorce can have a devastating effect on your financial, emotional and social health, but there are several ways to cope with change and instability:
1) Take time to cry
A divorce is a loss and therefore requires mourning. It is important to take time to go through this grieving process and acknowledge your feelings. Remember that at the time of divorce, friends and family will take sides, so be prepared to not only let your spouse go, but some friends as well. This will add pain to the separation process, but it is a necessary step toward your new life.
2) Build an emotional and social support network
This is a crucial time to confide in your loved ones, be it your family and/or friends, and seek the emotional support you need. Surround yourself with people who allow you to share your feelings and offer you a leaning shoulder without judging your situation or your decisions. Make time to go out to dinner or a movie. Laugh, enjoy the present moment and good company. Remember that laughter is great medicine.
3) Get professional help
If you feel that the support of your family or friends is not enough, seek professional help. Relationship counselors can teach you coping skills for every situation you will have to deal with during the divorce process. A counselor will also help you refocus on yourself and help you distance yourself from your ex-spouse. Reconnecting with your individuality and identifying your own needs and desires is very important, especially if you have been married for a long time.
4) move
It is not essential to join a gym to add exercise to your day to day, but it is crucial that you take care of yourself physically. Divorce is considered one of life’s most traumatic events, and its effect on the body and mind can be devastating and long-lasting. Exercise releases endorphins and helps you lower stress levels. It also helps you sleep better, which will improve your mental focus during the day, at work, and at home.
5) Take it one day at a time and remember who you are
Thinking about the future can be overwhelming, especially when so many factors have to be considered and your life path seems uncertain. By breaking big steps into smaller steps, you can get closer to your goals without adding to the stress and emotional burden. Furthermore, divorce is not only an end but also a new beginning: the perfect opportunity to remember the person you were before marriage. Consider reconnecting with your old hobbies or find new ones that make you happy.
6) Be strong for your children
By taking all the necessary steps mentioned above, you will become a better, emotionally and physically stronger parent. Remember that a divorce can also be very difficult for children and they will need your emotional support. Children can be a great motivator for recovery, helping you focus on a new and happy life with them.
7) Reduce the emotional and financial cost by hiring a divorce mediator
Going through the divorce process doesn’t have to be excruciating, and if you and your spouse think you can work things out amicably, choose a divorce mediator instead of hiring separate attorneys. In addition to reducing your financial expenses, divorce mediation will mitigate friction between spouses, as the mediator encourages communication and compromise to reach consensus on the division of assets and debts, child custody, and the timing of visitation, child support, and spousal support, in a reasonable amount of time. A shorter divorce process will help you start the healing process sooner.