The Friends With Benefits Trap: What To Do When A Man Only Wants You For Sex
Are you currently involved in a “friends with benefits” relationship? Was it fun at first, but now you find it increasingly difficult to keep sex separate from your feelings of love? Are you freaking out because you’re falling more and more in love but he doesn’t feel the same way? It can be very difficult for a woman to stay involved in a friends with benefits situation. But getting out can be even more difficult.
The problem with one night stands
It all seemed like a great idea at first. You were already friends with him and this was a way to have a casual relationship without needing to go out and find someone. One-night stands can be fun once in a while, but it can be a lot of work to always be on the lookout for a new guy. At least with this friends with benefits deal, you knew what you were getting.
In fact, it’s almost perfect until you start to realize that you’re starting to feel an emotional bond with your friend. This is the oh-oh moment because once that feeling kicks in, there’s no going back to just being friends.
In truth, it is not uncommon for a woman to experience these feelings with a man with whom she has regular physical contact. Because, usually, regularly having sex with the same man means that you are involved in some kind of relationship with him. And that is precisely why the problem occurs. Now a guy can have sex with a woman without becoming emotionally attached. It is even better for him if he is friends with this woman. He doesn’t have to work on building a relationship because that’s not what it’s about.
So what should you do when you find yourself in love with your friend? Well, there are a couple of options, but most likely the result will be the same in any case.
Option #1 – Come clean
You could and probably should tell him that things have changed for you. If you think he may be sharing some of the same feelings as you, you can talk to him about it and see if he would like to try to develop a real relationship together. The chances of this happening can be slim, and if he turns you down, your friendship along with benefits will come to an end. It wouldn’t work anymore anyway because if you have fallen in love with him, your friendship will not be the same as before.
Option #2 – Free yourself
Your other option, and one that can help you deal with your feelings more easily, is to simply break up with him. You could even lie and tell him that you’ve met someone else, so you won’t see him again. If you do this, continue to let his calls go to voicemail, not respond to texts, and be distant if you run into him.
There is no point in tormenting yourself by keeping in touch with him. Not only are friends with benefits part of the friendship, but being friends with him would probably be too painful.
Want to know how to avoid getting into a friends with benefits situation and instead open up your life to better, stronger, longer-term relationships? Then I’d love to help you!