Writing detectives: the private detective of the 21st century
Gone is the private detective (PI) of yesterday, the lonely lone ranger who single-handedly righted wrongs, leaving the world a better place as he disappeared down those dusty, miserable streets to another case. Don’t get me wrong, the 21st century IP works only part of the time, but he (or she) would be a fool working that way 24/7, especially with the network of other IPs. , resources and data to draw on (for example, via the Internet).
Let’s start by dusting off some of the outdated cliché myths about yesterday’s IP by reviewing some real-life IP’s favorite annoyances over their fictional counterparts.
The things that annoy real-life IPs the most about fictional IPs
A group of PIs were asked what misconceptions they would like to correct in the portrayals of PI in novels, movies, and television. Here are some of their responses:
Stay legal. At least 80% of the IPs surveyed listed this as their top pet peeve. Fictional IPs are often shown doing illegal things when, in reality, real-life IPs are actually following the laws. Because if they don’t, they could lose their business and their license, a risk no IP wants to take. If an IP doesn’t know their legal rights, knows how to look up the statute, or has a lawyer friend/client they can call for advice. No IP worth their proverbial salt walks into a legally murky situation without knowing exactly what actions are legal. Slips and missteps tarnish an IP’s reputation, which is perhaps their most critical asset because it reflects both their ethics and their skill.
To be prepared. Colombo (the detective from the 1970s TV series of the same name) would always go back (and over and over) to the witness, before he finally asked the zinger question. He never seemed to have a plan to get information at once. Today’s PI usually gets one chance, and one chance only, to interview a witness. He doesn’t mince words, he has to get to the point. That means being prepared. When an IP first makes contact with a witness, the IP needs to know the purpose of his questioning, as well as the questions themselves. Sometimes legal investigators (PIs working for lawyers) come armed with police reports or previous witness statements. For example, sometimes a previous witness statement reveals to the investigator, in the course of the interview, that the witness’s statement has inconsistencies; such conflicts in a person’s story indicate that the witness is unreliable.
Surveillance fantasies. IPs scoff at the idea that a lone IP can effortlessly perform successful mobile surveillance (ie, follow someone in a vehicle) for hours on end. Mobile surveillances usually require at least two PIs in two vehicles, and even then the success rate (by one PI’s stats) is 50%. And yet, time and time again one will read about (or see in a movie) an IP that magically follows someone weaving in and out of traffic, turning, speeding, crossing intersections for an entire day. Try following one of your friends in traffic (especially when you don’t know her destination) and you’ll see how easy it is to lose her car.
Business understanding.Too many PI stories ignore that an PI runs a business that involves negotiating and writing contracts, managing money (and sometimes subordinate PIs), purchasing/upgrading office equipment, writing reports, etc. First, an PI has a business relationship with their customer that includes all the legal ramifications that any customer situation entails.
Violence. Real IPs don’t hit people first, even if they’re angry. In fact, they do not engage in violence any more than they engage in robbery or theft. Debate is ongoing within the IP community on whether to carry guns or other weapons of self-defense.
Make it a whiskey, neat. Not all real-life IPs drink like Phillip Marlowe or Sam Spade, and if they were given a micky or hit with a sap, they’d be ashamed of their lack of planning. Today’s PIs would not risk dulling their senses, as this could be used to denigrate them if they were to testify in court about their observations.
This is a good place to also note things that today’s IP would never do. If a writer chooses to have their fictional IP do any of these acts, they’re setting up the IP character to be in a deep you-know-what (although, this could also be what you, as a writer, want for their IP-best-know which is illegal than writing something that is manifestly so and not knowing it, right?).
An IP who wants to keep his job/license/career/reputation will never:
Use these myth busters and guidelines to create real, smart 21st century private investigators that will keep readers turning the pages of your stories.