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A disabling and isolating disorder, depression can jeopardize relationships if not managed well. A person living with a depressed person may feel abandoned and deprived and, in turn, take an indifferent approach. Sometimes he or she may feel like walking on eggshells because of the attitude and reaction of the depressed person. However, it is important to understand that with a little care and some effort, the relationship can be saved. Here are some steps that can be taken to extend support to a depressed person:

• Trying to be there with them: Depression can become distressing for depressed people and their loved ones. However, support can still be provided by holding hands, providing reassurance that all will be well through the eyes, or giving a gentle back massage. You can also say comforting words like, “You’re not in this alone,” “We’ll find a way together,” or “You mean a lot to me.”
• Try small loving gestures: Some people are not very comfortable with emotional expressions. You can still extend your support by trying gestures like preparing a lunch for the one who is down, leaving a note of affection or love in the lunch box, texting after regular intervals, helping with the laundry, doing the grocery shopping for or with them, accompanying them on walks, etc.
• Avoid judging or criticizing: It can be very tempting to tell a depressed person that they are exaggerating or have no perspective; however, these words can pierce a person’s self-esteem. Therefore, these should be avoided. Depression is a serious mental disorder that cannot be overcome by changing your attitude or developing strong willpower. It is important for a friend or loved one to validate the depressed person’s feelings and emotions so that they can think about moving on.
• Paying attention to your self-care: Depressed people often find it hard to pay attention to self-care. They may not get out of bed all day, skip meals, not shower for days, etc. This is the time when a friend or loved one can pitch in and help you make your bed, eat something warm and nutritious, take a shower, exercise, and meditate.
• Reward them instead of punishing them: Threatening a depressed person with things like “If you don’t take care of yourself, eat dinner, sleep on time, I’ll end this relationship” is a ruthless way of telling them that they’re horrible. Instead, one should use affirmations that are rewarding and encouraging at the same time like “Oh! You’re up early, shall we go for a run?” or “Wow, you cooked dinner, should I help you with the dishes?”
• Encouraging them to challenge their negative thought processes: Depressed people have serious negative thought patterns. It’s important to have a friend or loved one help you challenge these thoughts empirically. For example, if they say, “I’m worthless” or “I’m horrible,” politely ask them what makes them think that way, and this discussion should help break negative patterns.

depression is curable

Depression is treatable and one should never question the power of treatment. Although self-help and support systems can help relieve symptoms, none may be as helpful as therapy such as cognitive behavior therapy and medication. Therefore, one must help the depressed to seek treatment.